Missing an old friend

Today I am missing my old friend, Blake.

Today is Blake's birthday. He was born to his mother Norma on Nov 21, 1971. He was the youngest of 7 in a blended family. Blake Douglas Grant was brought home to Romulus NY and spent his entire childhood living in one of two houses there on Main Street. At one year old his father died in a car accident. The family story goes that Blake was napping in his crib and at the exact moment of his father's death (they learned later) Blake stood up and screamed unconsolably. His father is buried in the Romulus cemetery. Blake brought me to his father's grave several times over the years. He dreamed that he would be buried there by his dad. He was close with several of his half siblings. He looked up to Scott and spoke very highly of him. Two of his sisters, Linda and Charlotte, were close to his heart growing up. His most beloved childhood friend was his pet Doberman pincher.

I met Blake in the 9th grade when our family moved from Waterloo to Romulus. This was 1985. We were more or less acquaintances through the 9th grade. In the 10th grade I had connected with a friend, Heather and we heard rumors of this guy Blake having gone through some tough stuff over the summer. There were kids picking on him and he looked alone and down. We decided to go see him in the library and "be his friends". We did and he was. Seen here...Lauretta, Heather, Blake and I- age 16ish-spent endless hours together over the next three years. Our entire high school experience was wrapped around each other. We nicked named him Butch. We went to dances together, we did sleep overs, we roller skated at the Auburn mall & saw the WWF live. We did countless concerts including Guns N Roses, Aero Smith, Metallica & Queens Ryche to name a few. We did Perkins restaurant at 2 am, Wegman's magazine isle and hollered out the car at the hotties at Hobart. We chased our crushes around.

Following graduation we did more of the same but carried on from the Community College of the Finger Lakes. We skipped many classes and went bowling or hung out by the lake or at the mall . In 1992 Blake was in hall while I gave birth to Elanee. He was there for me for 5 yrs through my first husband woes. Hes the only one to visit me after Vayda was born. He taught me the joys of pepperoni & strawberry milk, cheese in a can & Balies Irish Cream with chocolate milk. He put me though countless Disney Films & quotes from those films, re-enactments of every Queens Ryche and Maria Carey song ever made, and endless performances of new Karate moves. Not to mention relentless tacklings and molestations. But, as we agreed then, "You can't rape the willing".

After I became a Baha'i, divorced my first husband & was marrying my second. I got high and mighty I guess. I decided that I 'didn’t approve' of Blakes life style. I had had enough of his ups and downs (struggles). After he found his partner, Chris, I pushed him away. Five years were lost to this foolishness.

Then out of the blue, on my 31st birthday, the phone rang and it was Blake. I was stunned and thrilled. I was sorry for pushing him away like that and all he said was, "We all have to go through what we have to go through". From there things were back to normal. Heather, Blake and I spent the next two years in a wonderful whirl of friendship. Retta had moved to North Carolina. The two years were spent full of 3 way calls -crazy talks, Blake and I breaking into song from Moulon Rouge- "All you need is love". He called me his Grace (from Will & Grace). Our three families got together for Thanksgiving, Christmas & summer BBQs. We did the Chinese Buffet. I stroked his new fuzzy head.

All of this came to an abrupt stop one morning in January of 2003. That morning I was having computer troubles. Though I knew Blake was a work and I had never done this before, I decided to call him for help. His brother answered his cell phone. The long story short is that strong healthy Blake, for no aparent reason, had died suddenly while getting ready for work.

With his death came the end of an era of cherished friendships. I know Blake has come to visit me since his death. Though its infrequent now, I cherish this and am thankful that I have been open to these experiences. I look forward to reuniting with him.

SO-This is why I am sad today. I am being selfish longing for a good solid squeeze from his strong arms and broad shoulders. I miss my old friend and wish I could just pick up the phone & say, "Happy Birthday, Blake!"