Cool Books & Links

*Cool Books and Links*

We do a ton of reading in this house! This past school year alone Elanee has read 70 fat novels. Thats just her. Jody is an avid reader of history and therapy related topics. Ben reads all kinds of fantacy stuff and Vayda likes young adult books as well as how to's. We read 50 books to Maya Rae between July and August. I read around my interests and entertain myself while I am doing busy hands on work with audio books.

I thought I would start a list of good titles and links of interest.

LINKS

The most Awesome site on the web!- www.prettyinink.biz

Super Cool site. Its like Ebay but its all hand made craft items- www.etsy.com

I like this site for building easy web sites- www.tripod.com

To learn about the Baha'i Faith- www.us.bahai.org

Home schooling- Clothing

Home Schooling- Clothing

Ok- this is gonna start shallow and get deeper....

While we lived Ithaca we were surrounded by home schooling family's. It was easy to pick them out of a crowd because of the way they dressed! Checkers and poka dots, missed matched shoes or rain boots, striped leggings under cheata print skirts ETC!

I just could not understand why on God's green earth their parents let them dress like that. It stumped me for years. It was like a uniform of sorts I thought. It was a way of outwardly rebelling I thought. Regardless, I thought they were NUTS! Even after I started home schooling I tried to ask why oh why this is the case on an email post group but the moderator booted the post saying it was an inflammatory topic. K????

Now- flash forward a year. I get it now and they reason for this post is to inform anyone out there who has had this same question-why home schooled kids are allowed to go out in public dressed in less than socially 'normal', 'regular', 'standard' outfits.

READY for the answer????

Here it is!

IT DOESN'T MATTER- that's why!

What I learned was that not all home schooled kids dress in mixed matched clothing. Some dress just like kids in public school. I figured out the reason for the difference. The kids I have met who attended public school for a few yrs all dressed in socially 'normal', 'regular', 'standard' outfits and the kids who never went to public school dressed much more freely.

What it comes down to is that as parents we learn very quickly that when we send our 5 yr old child to public school their entire socio economic status, parenting influence and family structure will be summed up (by the adults) based on their clothing. AND- they will be tortured or worshiped (by the children) based on their clothing. So- we mothers learn to dress the kids "appropriately".

Now if the same mother never sends their child to public school she will not learn that crappy little lesson. (After all. That's not how it goes in the real world. If YOU wear some odd outfit strangers are not going to tell you look stupid. Neither will aquaitances. Maybe some 'dear' friend- but in general you will be left alone about it.)

So this home schooling mom may allow her child some freedom with clothing. What does it hurt to take your 6 yr old to the library wearing a ballerina costume and cat ears (that's Maya Rae). She's dressed. She's covered. She's happy!

Then I got to thinking....if a child is allowed such creativity and control over their person while they are little- what kind of person does that make? It seems to me that that could turn into self confidence and laid back free thinking.

Hmmmmm. :)

Home schooling- socialization

Home Schooling- socialization

Seeeee- my kids DO see other childen!

This is Elanee, Vayda & Maya Rae out with some family friends (also home schooled) - Quddus, Vahid & Ruhi as well as our neighbors Ravyn and Saige.

Ok- we all hear it. "But- what about socialization!?!" It is the most common first responce to home schooling. Guess what I have learned....its a lie! A myth. Its false. Its totally untrue that home schooled kids are lacking in social contacts. I have to say that home schooled kids are the most lovely SOCIAL kids I have ever met. They know how to relate to adults. They are kind to little kids. They enjoy their peers and dont know how to cruely exclude them. They are just flat out nice! They are the way kids- or people for that matter- are supposed to be and they didnt get that way by being locked away.

Home schooling- My Views.

Home Schooling- My Views

Because you are dying to know, I thought I would give you my 'views' on home schooling in general. I think the biggest downer about home schooling is the all or nothing attitude that is held fast by both home schoolers and public school professionals.

Let me say first off that I know I am generalizing here....

We all know there a million things wrong with America's schools. Its all over the TV as of late. The folks who have chosen public schooling as their profession feel the need to defend their decision. They work to convince parents that regardless of the issues -even dangers- of public schools, we the parents would surely damage our kids. We aren't supposed to know whats right for our kids lunch let alone for their entire education. They want us to believe that 'All schools are good enough for every kid'. I cant blame them. How do you go off to work every day and fight the up hill battle of meeting the needs of 24+ kids with varied learning styles, attention levels, issues etc if you think your cause is not worthy= "right".

Then there are the home schoolers. I have met tons of great, relaxed parents who really do take into account what is both best for and desired by their children. But, I have also met the folks who are so 'home school is the ONLY way' that they box themselves in and sell themselves and their kids short. Right now Dr. Phil is seeking out those folks. Parents who strongly feel home schooling is the only right way. I think as home schooling families we need to first take into account our own strengths and limitations. I know one lady who did great with one, then two and then was ok with the 3rd but by the time the 4th child arrived she was overwhelmed and took it out on the kids. The main problem was that she had been on a soap box about the "only right way" for 10yrs and had so much pride that she could do nothing else. She had painted herself into a corner.

So- I think that options are great! Public schools, charter schools, Waldorfs, Montisouri, Alternative schools and yes- home schools. I think giving the parent the power to trust themselves to parent their children is the best we can do.

My 2 cents ;)

Home schooling- How come?

Home Schooling- How Come?

Home Schooling. Its been a long road getting to this. I can remember way back when I was pregnant for Elanee, I picked up some books on home schooling. I thought at the time it was a great idea. Then life got bonkers. 5 yrs later I was marrying Jody and acquiring 4 step kids. All of his kids were enrolled in public school in Ithaca and doing fine academically but otherwise they were loaded with problems. Their history was...home school. Jody worked full time and his X home schooled all 4 of the kids. Because I don't want to paint an ugly picture of anyone here I will just say that there was a lot of abuse going on. The end. So- at age 26 I took these issues the kids had as proof positive that home schooled kids were whacked and it was a terrible horrible selfish thing to home school your kids. I asked Jody, "What were you thinking!?!?!" Flash back further than all that- when I was a kid my young cousins were being home schooled. My aunt would come to visit and I can now remember some tense conversation around the home schooling. "What about socialization?" my mother would say. I don't remember it all being mean or mad but I got a definite 'bad vibe' message on the topic.

So- how did I end up home schooling my kids after that? Well- When Elanee was 5 I didn't think for one second to not enroll her in public school. It just simply never occurred to me to keep her home. Right from the start she had issues. She was super smart and was reading well above grade level but she just wasn't flowing with the crowd. It never got better. There are a million details that I will spare ya but by the 8th grade I finally said enough is enough and pulled her out. By that point her anxiety was outrageous and her grades were suffering. Her slipping grades were actually the least of her issues. She was being bullied relentlessly as well. She was lying to me and to the teachers. On and on. I had toyed with the idea of pulling her in the 7th grade but didn't have the guts. Besides- this was the one kid I knew I was gonna kill if I had to deal with her all day long.

So- in Oct of Elanee's 8th grade yr (last yr) I prayed and prayed and prayed- I worried and panicked and fretted- and prayed some more. I was sooooooo scared to do more damage. I have made plenty of mistakes with my kids. I was just terrified to take this on. I didn't know what to do! So I prayed one morning in the shower. I ended up just sobbing and begging for an answer. THEN- it was like a smack in the forehead! "Call the Finger Lakes Unschoolers." That was it. Like a stamp on my forehead. The words were there and the fear left and that was that. I went and made the call and I began home schooling a week later. Yup- for real.

The first year was full of adjustments for Elanee and I. First off the public school called and harassed me. That was less than a thrill. We chose an online program http://www.globalstudentnetwork.com/ . It was $600 but it took the burden off of me to figure everything out all at once. Elanee loved it. We have figured out cheaper ways to do it now so we wont be using the program this year.

As for killing Elanee, well the exact opposite happened. I kinda figured her out. Our relationship is 100% better! That's really been the best part of all this. She's a pretty cool kid. She doesn't lie anymore and she is soooooooo much more relaxed, reliable and generally pleasant. She says she'll never go back.

So now I am home schooling Maya Rae too. She 6 and in 1st. I am psyched! She too suffered from a lot of anxiety. To make a long story short she went to school and I received weekly letters from the teacher saying that "Maya Rae is doing great" then one week to the end of school I get a note "Maya Rae is border line passing. She needs summer school." :( WHAT!?! I went in and told the teacher. No thanks. I will teach her at home. Poor kid. Jody was so angry. Says, "I feel like they broke my kid". We sent her to them fine and she came out full of anxiety and clingy and hating reading :( sigh.

At this point I wish I could go back in time and start over. I would have home schooled all of my kids from the start. Reality is that I couldn't have back then but- if I had today's wisdom and yesterdays spunk I would have ;)

What about the other kids? Well- 3 of the kids are grown and out and that leaves Ben who is in 10th. He is my step and I don't feel its my place (or my job to be quiet frank) to educated him. Besides, he's doing just fine where he is. As for Vayda...I wanna! Mainly because I miss her. She is gone so much and I think she Rocks! But- she really really does not want to. She is really into her in school social scene right now. That's ok because she's doing fine and I have my hands very full right now. If she ever came and said she wanted to come home I'd say-ok!